last night i had a bad dream, a nightmare. i am not going to go in to detail but it involved a car crash which led to an explosion and a fire and i jumped into a lake that wouldn't stop moving and changing and i couldn't get out.
after looking at a dream website, i have been brought to a conclusion that i could have come to myself: all of these things are symbols for destruction. things falling apart. pain. the thing is, they were all caused by me. i caused the car accident. i was driving, i was speeding, i kept pressing the gas instead of the brake and i KNEW i was doing it but i kept doing it. that led to the explosion/fire and then i threw myself into the lake.
i guess my subconscious is still blaming me for everything that is going wrong in my life. i probably could have predicted that. as strong and empowered as i pretend to be, i will never make as much progress as i want to. i will always be to blame and i just need to come to terms with that.
after looking at a dream website, i have been brought to a conclusion that i could have come to myself: all of these things are symbols for destruction. things falling apart. pain. the thing is, they were all caused by me. i caused the car accident. i was driving, i was speeding, i kept pressing the gas instead of the brake and i KNEW i was doing it but i kept doing it. that led to the explosion/fire and then i threw myself into the lake.
i guess my subconscious is still blaming me for everything that is going wrong in my life. i probably could have predicted that. as strong and empowered as i pretend to be, i will never make as much progress as i want to. i will always be to blame and i just need to come to terms with that.
2 comments:
i don't know if it's as self-loathing as you think it is. and although it's not my dream, i don't think it's about pointing the finger. i think it's simply that certain choices lead us to certain places. it's never entirely someone's "fault." the choices you make cause other people to in turn make choices. if you think your life is falling apart, especially since this dream, i think your subconscious is telling you that your choices played a very real role in where you are currently.
plus, i'm not even sure if it's all a metaphor for your life. perhaps different parts are different things in your life. the car representing one element, you, your pushing on the gas, the water, etc.
if you want to look at it from a freudian point of view, sex was on your mind. but freud's a crackwhore, so you never know.
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Take care you.
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